It may surprise you to learn that I care about more than faith and politics. I know! I’m like a full-blown human being with interests and hobbies and stuff. Sorry to ruin your image of me. One of the things I enjoy is sports. And sports writing. And I have a favourite sports writer. A guy by the name of Sean McIndoe. He’s hilarious and informative and often has a unique take on the stories of the day. He is a huge source of inspiration for me when it comes to this blog. You should check out his stuff. It’s on The Athletic (which is totally worth the subscription). Check him out on Twitter @downgoesbrown. While you’re at it, follow us at @terribleconvos.
Why am I going on about some random hockey blogger? Because he runs a weekly column that includes a section called The Three Stars of Comedy. It’s awesome. And he gave me his blessing to steal his idea. So, I am going to begin a regular column that does the same for politics. Because there are some genuinely hilarious moments. Sure, most of them are unintentionally funny and we are laughing at people rather than with them, but these are public figures that signed up for this. Plus, politics can be nasty, so let’s have some fun.
Here are the Three Stars of Comedy of the Alberta Election
#3: Fake Lawn Signs
There was no shortage of awesome fake lawn signs this election. Someone in my community had an “elect General Zod” sign in his yard. It was pretty great. I could have chosen from about 100 different ones to go with but the sheer bravado of this one was hard to beat.
The UCP was plagued with Bozo eruptions, which Jason Kenney promised would be swiftly removed from his party. They weren’t. This one wins because of the amount of effort that went into it. Someone had to spend real money custom making this. Unfortunately, they were forced to take it down because of copyright infringement, but it’s still hilarious.
#2: Jason Kenney Arrives in a Truck
When Jason Kenney won the election on Tuesday, he did what any victorious politician does. He entered triumphantly and walked with purpose and seriousness to the awaiting podium do deliver his victory speech. Just kidding. He drove into a crowd of people in a truck. Just kidding. What was driven into a crowd of people in a truck while he leaned halfway out the window and did a weird wave. The sheer awkwardness of this is too much for me.
The more times you watch it, the better it gets. The second time you notice the security guys walking beside the truck. The third time you notice he only travels 30 feet. And then you remember that HE’S IN A CLOSED ROOM OF PEOPLE. Was the euphoria of the crowd due to the victory or carbon monoxide poisoning?
#1: Rachel Notley’s Twitter Win
Here it is. The single greatest moment of the campaign. First, some back story. In the 2015 election, the turning point for Rachel Notley came when then Premier Jim Prentice made a snide remark during a debate. Arguing over the economy, he said to Notley, “I know math is difficult…” The comment was widely perceived as sexist and Notley played the clip right up until she sworn into office.
Enter Drew Barnes. Until Tuesday Barnes was the UCP finance critic. He sent out a tweet condemning the current education grading system. Setting aside that there is no truth the accusation he made, you probably noticed another issue… His percentages add up to 110. Again, this is the guy whose job it is to count things for our newly elected government.
But Notley drops the mic. The icing on the cake is the subtweet. She doesn’t go straight for the joke. First, she makes us wait. Then she drops the bomb. “Math is hard.” Comedy gold. Because, and I can’t stress this enough, THIS GUY WAS IN CHARGE OF COUNTING MONEY!
Check back often for the Three Stars of Comedy. I haven’t decided how often it will appear, but at minimum once per month from here on out.